Communication 106: Interview of Vanhin

[MaidservantX]

I serve as a moderator at More Good Foundation's LDS.net. I admire greatly each of the individuals that are part of the moderating team on LDS.net. Each of them has a love for the gospel and unique talents that they bring to moderation.

In thinking about what I could present here in my Communication blog series, I realized that there were two persons in particular on the LDS.net moderating team whose communication style I think is head-and-shoulders above a lot of others. I decided that I wanted to interview each of them to learn from them their communication philosophy and practice and then share it with you here. In this blog, I give the interview with Vanhin. In the next blog in the series, I give the interview with skalenfehl. Thank you so much, gentlemen, for being willing to teach us.

How long have you been moderating for LDS.net?

Not very long! I was invited to be a moderator for LDS.net on 5/21/08. I am honored to be able to help in any way that I can. I don’t necessarily view myself as wise or a great communicator, but I have learned some great things from truly great communicators that I try to emulate.

What do you think of the Church's recent charge to be involved in sharing the gospel online, and has it caused you to make any new decisions in relation to that?

I think it’s wonderful. I myself have been participating in online discussion about gospel subjects for a long time before the charge. I have been involved in gaming communities and other venues, and I never hesitated to try to clarify my beliefs to others. A couple of years ago I started visiting the suomi24.fi “Mormonism” forums because I like to discuss the gospel, and I also wanted to brush up on my Finnish. It ended up being a wonderful opportunity to share the gospel and to practice communicating with others of different faiths.

I've noticed that you communicate very clearly and respectfully. Did you ever used to communicate differently than that?

Well, I still struggle with communicating clearly, and even respectfully, with others. Those close to me can attest to that. But yes, there was a time when I was quite clueless about clarity and respect, and I didn’t have the tools or the understanding that I have now. I think a lot of that comes from desire and experience. Think about the grandmothers and grandfathers of our lives; how wise they are, and how gentle and patient they are with us, who are young and less experienced. They have been through relationships, and lost loved ones, and experienced life. They have probably “put their foot in their mouths” plenty of times, and learned, at last, how to avoid those mistakes. I’m nowhere in their league. I look up to our seniors, especially the prophets and apostles, and members locally, as examples of good communication. They are not subconscious or afraid, but are at ease with themselves, and know when it’s appropriate to use humor, or sternness. They have broad vocabulary, and understand more fully the spectrum of life.

When and where from did you learn to communicate the way that you do now? Did you learn from someone(s) else? Did you learn from a book or a class?

I think it started when I was preparing for a mission. I often went teaching with the missionaries, and I found myself regretting some of the things I said in comparison to the way the missionaries dealt with people. They were meek and lowly, and filled with the Spirit; and they heeded the Spirit. The gift of the Holy Ghost is a wonderful advantage we have as members of the Church, because He will teach us the way to love as the Savior does. The missionaries let petty things just roll off their backs, and responded with persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness and meekness, and with love unfeigned. Because of that the Spirit remained, and communication in the truest sense was the effect. I had a lot to learn about teaching by the Spirit. And I still do, to tell you the truth.

What made a big influence in my life was my missionary training, and subsequent on the job missionary training that followed in the field. I am a student of the Missionary Guide, which preceded the current Preach My Gospel manual. In the Missionary Training Center, I learned some of the most profound lessons about communication. I am forever grateful to God for that time in my life. My teachers were filled with the Spirit and taught us, by example, how teach by the Spirit. I love this quote, which was in the old Missionary Guide, by President Ezra Taft Benson:

“If there is one message I have repeated to my brethren of the Twelve, it is that it’s the Spirit that counts. It is the Spirit that matters. I do not know how often I have said this, but I never tire of saying it—it is the Spirit that matters most” (mission presidents’ seminar, 3 Apr. 1985)

It is so true. We cannot and should not teach the gospel, if we have not received the Spirit. That is also the principle most prevalent in the current Preach My Gospel manual. I love that book.

What is your conscious philosophy about communication? Your number one tip for communication?

Well, as I am just a bumbling idiot without it, I would say obtaining the Spirit is the number one tip. We are all teachers at some level, or in some jurisdiction. Those of us who are members of the true Church of Jesus Christ, have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide us and to carry the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ to the hearts of the people of this world. I seriously do not think that I would be nearly as effective as I am now, without this gift. I really feel it when I have transgressed. I know then that I have lost my gift, and I am left “kicking against the pricks”.

So, as a teacher, or communicator of gospel truths, I am confident in saying that the number one object is to obtain the Spirit. Whatever it takes, whether it is repentance, scripture study, humility, patience, or anything else that prevents us from having the Holy Ghost with us, that is what we must do to prepare to teach. When we are actually teaching or communicating, our object is to introduce the Spirit, and to recognize His presence. We should help others know when the influence of the Spirit is present. When the Spirit is present, we will know what to say or do. That’s when we must have the courage to act.

Also, we must have the knowledge and material available for the Spirit to draw upon. This is why continuing prayer, pondering, and studying of the scriptures and words of the modern prophets is so important. Also learning other things, like science and history is also important. All things testify of Christ, and at the right moment, the Spirit will help us use the knowledge we have gained to teach gospel truths. In other words, we must learn the truth in order to teach the truth, and it is all done by the Spirit.

For those who do not have the gift of the Holy Ghost, or have lost the privilege through transgression, my tip would be to heed your conscience. That is the light of Christ, and by it we can judge the difference between right and wrong. If we heed our conscience it will show us the way. It can help us communicate better, because we will recognize truth. The Holy Ghost uses the light of Christ in His role of testifying of truth. We should all heed to “dictates of our conscience”.

Are there any special tips for online communication?

Online communication is a tricky thing. We should be aware that communication is hard enough when we are face to face, but it’s even harder when we write our words down. It is even more critical that we have the Spirit guide our words in online communication. The words we write often remain for long period of time for people to see and analyze over and over again. We should check and double check the things we write before posting. It helps for me to check my spelling and punctuation, because I often find other errors along the way, including things that might be offensive to others. Of course there are times when I let offences fly intentionally against my better judgment, and those are truly regrettable times.

It’s a double edged sword. There are advantages to online communication. When we speak with our mouths, our words are dynamic and real time. Online, however, we can check and double check before posting. We should take advantage of that and not be too hasty.

And of course it’s hard to convey mood and expressions properly online. We should be careful in our construction of words. It’s laborious, but worth it in the long run.

I also try to stick to things that are true, and I try to avoid too much speculation. That is more effective in the long run. The opposite can and will be more harmful that helpful to our cause.

How would you like to become better at communication?

I think communication is hard work. It gets incrementally easier with practice, but I think all and all it does not come easily to the vast majority of us. We should have the desire and the willingness to work towards good communication. Jesus Christ is the ultimate example, and until we have reached his level of communication then we have a lot to learn. I am in the category of trying to be more like the Master every day, and thus I have a long way to go.

Do you have any interesting online communication stories, good or bad?

Well, one time on the Finnish forums, someone who was antagonistic against the Church left an opening for me that I could not refuse. They had asked about the Spirit, and how I know I had felt the Spirit and not just self suggestion or something like that. I felt prompted to share an experience from my younger days when I felt the Spirit. It was a real life down to earth experience that I think anyone could identify with. I believe everyone has had similar experiences. After I typed it out, I asked him to share a similar type of experience, and he did, to my surprise. Afterwards, I asked him to describe how he felt, I assured him that I would was not trying to set him up to mock him, but that I was trying to help him understand how I felt. He proceeded to describe the Spirit, but he did not know it. It was a grand opportunity for me to point out that what he had felt at that point in time, was the Holy Ghost, and that it was testifying of truth. I explained that the feeling was hard to describe, but now that we both had identified the experience, he knew what I meant when I spoke of the Spirit. Also, he now knew how to recognize the influence of the Spirit himself. He later admitted that that was a very good conversation that helped him learn a lot.

I don’t know what happened with him, but I hope that conversation helped progress him towards the Savior in some small way. It is difficult to have such a conversation online, because people are often on the defensive. It’s important for us to develop relationships of trust, and tear down the walls of fear; to be peace makers. It starts with us. We have to stop being defensive, and ask questions, and listen and learn with love and patience.

Any other comments or anything else you'd like to tell readers about this subject?

Yes. I hinted at it in the last answer, but the most important skill we can ever learn, concerning communication, is to listen. Listening is the key to understanding the whispering of the Spirit, and the concerns of others. It shows people that we really care. I mean really listening. You know how it is in a heated conversation when someone is talking to you, and you are only thinking about what you are going to say next… That’s the wrong way. We should be prepared through our own personal study, so that we can be free to listen to what others say. We should indicate that we understand, or make sure we understand by restating in our own words what others are trying to say.

Once we know, then we are in a better position to respond. I’m guilty of violating this advice just like the next person. It is the hardest, yet most vital skill of effective communication. Nothing will say “I love you” better than sincerely listening.

Thank you, Vanhin!

[Heather]

This is great! Nice blog, X!